This is a story of a girl a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world…..OH WAIT. That is NOT the right story. ;)
This is a story of a girl and her journey to find the love of her life. “She chose him out of every guy in this crazy world.”
It has been one year ago today since she married the BEST human on this planet. She never in a billion years ever thought that she would find someone who loved her for her, with all her many many messes and the baggage she carried around with her. She knew that It could be overwhelming. It was a journey finding the love of her dang life. Looking back now, it all makes sense. It was yet a fight to get to him. Pat Benatar was totally right. LOVE is indeed a battlefield. Let me tell you a little bit of her journey and how she knew that he was “THE ONE.” I could take you all the way back to when she got over her shyness of boys and realized what falling in love felt like when she was fifteen but I am not going to do that, because there was that first love, a couple high school boys, an engagement to someone else and so on…..so I am just going to take you back about ten years instead to the beautiful state of California. You see, before she met him she found herself involved with a few guys who she wasn’t meant to be with. How did she eventually come to realize this? They didn’t believe her heart was something that they felt needed protecting. She found herself getting attached to guys who didn’t understand that was something that she was longing for. She wanted and NEEDED her heart to be protected, because for some reason she was always putting it places that it didn’t belong and it was broken over and over again. Not all gals think like she did, but she felt vert strongly about this subject and didn’t know how she REALLY felt about it till this time in her life.
(Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23)
It was true. She had this habit of thinking that there is good in everyone. Which she still believes is true. However she used that theory and tried to force relationships to work. For years she was with someone who she believed in and they had amazing intentions. Yet at times she felt crazy. “Why doesn’t this feel “right” she would always think to herself. She didn’t understand why she didn’t have that feeling you should have when you truly love someone. Was she weird or broken in some way? She would feel guilty constantly. It plain and simple wasn’t meant to be. “There they were in California. Two tarnished golden hearts. Were they ever really together or just afraid of being apart?” They weren’t the best versions of themselves together.In the end, due to selfishness on both their ends, that relationship crumbled apart. “So let’s put our hands together and clap for the painful choice we’ve made cause it was right. Sometimes the right choice hurts a lot. But it made them stronger. She truly believes that now. Today she wishes him all the best in the world and understands how it took that moment in her life to get her to where she is today.
After that she went on a different journey to find the “ONE.” Comes to find out that she was not meant to be in the dating world. It’s like another planet to her. Girls who can do this, kudos to you! Her on the other hand..in the words of Johnny Lee she was “looking for love in all the wrong places.”
“She combed this city with a sword to divide the louse-faced liars from the brave and inspired.”
She found herself giddy with a few fellas. Late night phone chats, all day texting full of flirting, sushi dates, etc. These guys were sweet, but something was still lacking…the protection of her heart that she still longed for. Something she should of been doing herself all along, yet she wanted it from some guy, who in their defense didn’t ask for that role. “She knew you promised nothing. And nothings all you should. All she wanted was some comfort but you were running like a fugitive. Was it something special or just another way out? Like the credits to a movie or seeing Jesus in a time of doubt?” They were just enjoying the times they hung out not knowing that deep down inside her heart she felt so much more than they knew. She fell fast and hard. “She’s always fallen fast with too much trust in the promise that “no one’s ever been here, so you can quell those wet fears.” And she wanted purity, but don’t you get her started now. Don’t you get her…..Don’t you get her?”
They didn’t get her and she wasn’t herself anymore and she knew it. Something needed to change. This wasn’t working. She looked back on those moments when he would hold her hand in the car, yet “couldn’t be in a relationship.” The times where he acted as if there could be something there, yet when she went to hold his hand he would remove it and place it in his arms so they would link as we walked down the stairs as he left. The times where she felt alone even though he was sitting right next to her. The times he spoke sweet words to her daily, and then acted as if it they were just that…. just words. No meaning behind them. Let’s not forget to mention the married man who spoke words to her that shocked her to her core. Each one of these was a dagger to that unprotected heart. She didn’t know how to process this. It broke her. Was she overreacting? Was she making things up in her mind that wasn’t there? Perhaps. She was a hopeless romantic to a massive fault. She slowly found herself believing that her idea of love didn’t exist and it was something she had just created in her mind. She knew she needed to make a decision and change things. It took her decision to give up “cars, guitars & rock stars” in pursuit of the one she knew that she was looking for “in all those wrong places.”
She decided to find a friend on Facebook who she believed would know decent people and basically add all their friends that she thought she would click with. Yes…she was that person. It’s 2016 (well…2014 at that time and that is just the way it is these days) At the time the friend she decided to rummage through the pals of a mutual friend named Brian. He happened to be on the worship team at Mosaic, the church that she attended and still does to this very day. Brian and his family had a great group of pals on Facebook so she just started clicking away…..
then this cute little peanut popped up on her screen.
(photo by: CJ Martin)
If she was able to turn herself into an emoji she would be the one with the heart eyes.
What a cutie. She instantly messaged him when she realized they had so so many mutual friends, who were great people! As they began to chat they also discovered their love for french fries, music and the best animal in the world…DOGS! She adored his glasses and his cute little smile. She knew she had to meet him! Zooey Beans (her pup) had just had her back surgery and she couldn’t leave her for long periods of time. When he said that he wanted to go on a date she was so excited! However… when he said that HE would drive from Los Angeles to Long Beach, due to Zooey’s condition she knew that there was something special about this guy. After a date of french fries and wine she felt a spark that she had not felt in such a long time. (at that time she was journaling as much as she could. A friend suggested she write to her future husband. Her friend had done this and it was amazing the things she learned along the way. So she decided to give it a shot and let’s be honest here..she was terrible at it. But what she wrote during this time in her life was special) She wrote this after their first date.
Then after a second date at a coffee shop (also in Long Beach) she knew he was the ONE. “And he threw his head back laughing like a little kid. She though it was strange that you thought she was funny cause they never did. She’d been spending the last few months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Saturday in a cafe (coffee shop) She watched it begin again. And for the first time what’s past was past”
Of course she didn’t tell him that right way. What a way to freak a guy out!!! But she just knew she had found someone special. She had never met anyone as sweet, attentive, sensitive and just so darn cute. It was perfect. After all those years of searching in the wrong places she had found someone who she eventually learned had her heart in his hands. He protects it AND her on a daily basis still to this very day.
“Wrapped up in armor with a shield to defend her heart and honor.”
It just seemed so unreal….yet wonderful.
On December 19th, 2014 after just 8 months of dating he asked her to marry him and of course she said YES! She was in total shock and just said OMG OMG OMG over and over again! He apparently said some very sweet and wonderful words but she was too busy wiggin’ out that she didn’t hear a thing. But for the first time she knew and felt that this was RIGHT.
(photo by Alicia Chandler)
She had never been so sure of anything in my life.
This was the one she had been waiting for.
And he was so worth the wait.
“Out of every chump in the archives of her phone she chose him”
On August 29, 2015 they said “I Do” in front of close friends and family at Sony Pictures! (click link for wedding photos)
(I think Kristin Despres took this photo. Please correct me if I am wrong)
It was just the best day ever!
P.S. The officiate is our pal Brian, who’s Facebook friend rummaging lead Christie to Mark ;)
“Right there, where we stood was holy ground.”
(photos by: Jered Scott)
Everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest. It was a tough year, but not because of our relationship. We have stayed strong through a stressful year due to the fact that I left a job that I had for years, that caused endless amounts of anxieties that tried to take us down. (mostly on my end) We were meant to be together and this year has proved that. I love him more and more every single day. He has been my rock on days when I felt as if my world was crumbling. He is a man after God’s own heart and I just know that the best is yet to come.
Happy one year anniversary, Peanut. Cheers to this first anniversary, the many more to come and to the adventures that await us!
Love you to the moon and back.
(photo by: CJ Martin)
Now we can look at our frozen “one year” cupcakes….but not eat them…because they are indeed not vegan which we are now. Haha.
***all words in italics are from songs (some revised) Here are the list of songs in order***
1.Perma-She Chose You (which is also the song that is playing in this post)
2. The Ataris- All Souls Day
4. Johnny Lee- Lookin’ For Love
5. Perma- She Chose You
6. Noah Gundersen- Liberator
7. Death Cab For Cutie- We Laugh Indoors
8. Taylor Swift- Begin Again
9. Perma- She Chose You
10. Perma- She Chose You
11. Taylor Swift- Holy Ground