Time travel edition. Interview with Cher Horowitz (1995)

This interview is so very exciting. I time traveled back to 1995 and had a lovely little chat with Cher Horowitz. She is a lovely socialite from right here in Los Angeles. To be more specific Beverly Hills. Cher is 15, but turns 16 in April and is the perfect person for me to talk to about her thoughts on the future of America seeing how things have changed quite a bit since the 90’s. I met up with Cher at her favorite eatery here in LA. She was running a bit late but her adorable spirit made up for it! Let’s get right to that interview!

Christie: Hi Cher! Glad to see you made it here safe and sound. I know LA can be a bit crazy to drive around in.

Cher: So sorry I am late! I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies’.

Christie: I totally understand!! No worries!! Thank you so much for meeting with me, Cher. I liked that you chose a Vegan place to do this interview. This must be one of your favorite places to eat in Los Angeles! I know that in 2017 there are so many choose from like Sage, Gracias Madre, Real Food Daily, by Chloe.….to name a few. I am sure that in 1995 you must have the ultimate spot to love since veganism hasn’t totally hit mainstream yet?

Cher: You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet!

Christie: I can’t argue with that. Let’s get right into this interview. I am pretty excited since this is my first time traveling experience. What would you say is something that is very important to you right now in 1995?

Cher: I want to do something for humanity!

Christie: That is great and something that I know we are in desperate need of in 2017. I brought my iPhone, the future of cellphones (They get so much better!) with me to show you some of the hot topics that are going on in your future. Right now in America we have just elected Donald Trump as the newest president of The United States of America. What are your thoughts on that?

Cher: It’s a full-on Monet!

Christie: Can you please elaborate on that for the readers?

Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.

Christie: That it is! The newest issue with the president is that he is trying to pass a law to make it illegal for citizens of certain countries to enter America. There are huge debates on this issue. What are your thoughts?

Cher: The refugees need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the refugees. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty!


Christie: I love your outlook on this subject and I couldn’t agree more! On a less important note, what are your thoughts on Trumps fashion choices?

Cher: Do you prefer “fashion victim” or “ensembly challenged”?

Christie: I would think he could fit into BOTH of those categories!  What is going on with the messy looks here in 1995? In 2017 the men are so polished…unlike Donald Trump of course. He is in total need of a makeover. I look around here and see guys with pants that look like they need to hold on to them or they may fall off and they look like they  haven’t washed their hair in like a month!

Cher: So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.

Christie: Haha! I am with you there, lady!

I then show her a photo of our lovely former President, Barack Obama. She smiles and says…

Cher: Okay, okay, so he is kind of a Baldwin.

(We both think he was a such a classy looking guy and I explained to her he was also a classy president who we miss oh so very much.)

Christie: You might find it interesting to know that Marijuana has been legalized in California! Wild right? What are your thoughts on that?

Cher: It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.

Christie: Very good point! Let’s talk about your life, Cher! What have you been up to these days?

Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.

Christie: That’s great! Nothing worse than shoes that kill your feet! How about your love life! Have you been a girl about town, dating a few guys?

Cher: As if! I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh!

Christie:  Awwww. That is adorable! I know that you were once step siblings but that totally doesn’t count since his mom and your dad are now divorced! How is your father by the way? What is he up to?

Cher: Daddy’s a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy’s so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I’m his daughter.

Christie: That’s not a bad thing to have such a great lawyer on your side! And he loves and takes care of you so well!

Cher: Did I show you the loqued out Jeep Daddy got me? It’s got four-wheel drive, dual side airbags and a monster sound system!

Christie: That’s a nice set of wheels!

Cher: Yeah, old people can be so sweet!

Christie: That’s adorable! Thank you so much for taking the time from your fun life to chat with me. I hope that 2017 treats you well when you get there! Until then enjoy your youth. It flies by so so fast!

Cher: It was fun! My dad is wondering where I am so I gotta go…I told him “A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, daddy!”

Christie: Have a great day, Cher! See you in the future!


Stay tuned for more “time traveling” fun! 

XOXO, Christie Gee-Kellems

**Cher’s answers taken from the movie Clueless and some are revised**





1 Comment

  • Reply Christie Moeller February 18, 2017 at 1:48 am

    OMG so hilarious. LOOOVE this.


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