I need to talk to some pizza, I mean Liz Lemon about this.

Sometimes life can be so dang confusing, weird and just plain obnoxious. In times like these I like to turn to my mentor, hero and all our BOSS BABE aka Liz Lemon. I met with her this morning over a donut and coffee to talk about life and here is the wisdom she passed down to me….


CG: Thank you for meeting me Liz! ( I see her walk up in what seems to be workout clothes). You just get back from the gym? That’s great! You feeling super buff or what?!?

LL: I wish! Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing! BLERG!

CG: Yeah….I totally feel you. I have been training for a half marathon and I feel like such a weenie.

LL: Realizations are the worst. I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that, if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

CG: Yikes!! Dang, girl. You should really listen to your doctor. Now that I think about it you DO roll your eyes a lot. But I can relate. Life is kinda weird right now for me. I’ve been like a giant ball of stress. I don’t want be a stress ball. I want to be…like….a beach ball at a concert! No one has issues with that dude! What do you think I should do, Liz?

LL: One of my New Year’s resolutions is to say yes. Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more.

CG: Yesssss….I love that. I do love staying in more. However I feel like I don’t ever want to leave the house. That’s not normal.

LL: Rejection from society is what created the X-Men.

CG: OMG…You are totally right. I have a hard enough time keeping my cuticles in check. I don’t need to develop friggin’ claws that shoot out of my hands when I get agitated. That would not be good for society.

LL: If reality TV has taught us anything, it’s that you can’t keep people with no shame down.

CG: If that means I should just go about living my life being , as a gal named Jenny Lawson, refers to being “furiously happy” then I like that advice! I want to be one of those people who live life everyday like it’s a party!

LL: There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party ’cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory! (She say’s with a sassy wink)

CG: Keep me on that invite! Liz, you are truly one of my favorite people.

LL: Are you sure? Cause I took one of those ‘Which Gossip Girl are you?’ quizzes, and it said I was the dad’s guitar.

CG: Haha! I am sure if I took that quiz I would end up being a socialite’s head band. Don’t look now, Liz but there is a totally cute guy checking you out.

LL: Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he’d buy me mozzarella sticks?

CG: Oh, Liz. You are too much!!! What do you have going on this week? Anything fun that I can tag along with you??

LL: I am going to THREE weddings. God, three weddings in one day, I’m going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.

CG: Woah. Yeah count me out of that. My social anxiety would send me into X-men mode. I think I am going to go take myself shopping. I really need some new jeans.

LL: Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.

CG: I can’t ever tell with you, but I hope you are being sarcastic! Are you?

LL: I’m Lizzing!!! Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.

CG: Ewww, Liz. That’s hilarious and gross! OK….I gotta get going. Jeans shopping and life are calling my name!

LL: What time do you start throwing out donuts? (She asked the server)

CG: It’s never a dull moment with you, Liz! Want to grab a cab with me or are you taking the subway?

LL: I think I’ll take the subway…You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.

CG: OMG, Liz. I have no words. Thanks for the chat! I DO feel a bit better. In the immortal words of the Golden Girls theme song, thank you for being a friend! You really cheer me up when I need it!

LL: It OK. Don’t be cry. I support women. I’m like a human bra!! Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? This moi.

CG: Love you, Liz. Have the best day! Tell those TGS nerds I said hello!

LL: Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me and then he’s gonna kill you and then he’s gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us. JUST KIDDING. (She wink’s and gives me a hug and makes her way to the subway.)


I am glad I have a good friend in Liz. She is a weirdo…but such a powerhouse lady who knows how to show life whats up! Love it!

I hope you have that person in your life as well. YOU can also choose to BE that person in someones life!

Love and hugs,

Christie Gee-Kellems

**all quotes and photos/gifs are from 30 Rock**


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